Ways to fallback in love

 

Ways to fallback in love

                                The last blog was about the different ways which shows that you are falling out of love. But falling out of love doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore. It is just a phase of life where you lost the spark in your relationship, which can be ignited back with many ways. All you need is to put some effort and work it out.

                                  The first thing you have to do is to talk to your partner about it. Make them know that you need refreshment in the journey of your relationship. Discuss with them and come up with ideas which interest both of you. Remember, communication is a key in a relationship which has to be used often to open and stay in a healthy and happy relationship. The following are some of the ideas which may help you to bring back your spark.

1.      Explore your favourite places: There will be some favourite spots for both of you where you have spent some special moments. The place where you first met, the place where you proposed, the place you first visited after marriage etc. You can just go to those places and spend some ‘yours’ time over there. It will bring back those memories of special moments which will bring back your feelings to each other.

2.      Talk about your day in your bed: You might feel tiring by spending your whole day in your work. All you want is to rest. But spend at least 10  minutes and talk to your partner about your day. Share your worries, happiness to them. Sharing your feelings with each other will increase the strength of the bond between both of you. You will become more close to each other than ever.

3.      Explore new hobbies: There will be some hobbies which you want to try but never tried before. Explore those hobbies with your partner. It will be fun and you will feel young again. It will definitely be the refreshment you need which will help you to fall in love with each other all over again.

4.      Involve each other in your favourite hobbies: You can also engage each other in your favourite hobbies. Get involved in your partner’s hobbies or teach them your hobbies even if it is a gender based hobby. Either way will be a great tool for you to refresh your love.

5.      Take a break: You can explore your love not only by spending time with each other but also spending time away from each other. Being away from each other will make you realize the importance of your partner in your life. Your mind will become clear which will help you to understand how much you miss and love them.  It is true that the value of a person is felt only during their absence.

 

6 Signs which shows that you are falling out of love

 

Falling in love with the person for the first time makes you feel amazing. Those moments you spend with that person for the first few days would be very special and exciting. But as the time goes the butterflies you feel in your stomach, the increase in your heart beat starts to fade away slowly. This usually happens after you get married to the person you love or after you have a baby. Let’s see some of the signs which clearly show that you start to fall out of love and you need to work through that.

1.      You no longer spend time with each other: In the initial stage of your love, you always wanted to spend time with your love. You would have put a lot of effort just to spend an hour with them. But after few years you don’t feel like to spend time with each other. You start to avoid to spend time with them.You ignore them. Spending time with them is no longer a concern for you,which is one of the sign you are starting to fall out of  love.

2.    Conversation between each other had been reduced: When you were in love for the first time with each other, you both love to talk with each other without any limit. But after you get married you find them talking with you makes you bored or even irritated. So you start to reduce your conversation with each other. This leads to the lack of communication which is the key for a happy relationship.

 

3.  There is no intimacy between you in recent times: Physical intimacy is a key for a healthy relationship. It helps you to connect deeper with each other. At the initial stage of your relationship you can’t keep your hands out of each other. But when you no longer want to be physically intimate with each other, it is time for you to consider about the reasons and start to work on it to rejuvenate your relationship.

 

4.     Not excited to be with each other: There will always be a spark of magic between you which gives you excitement when you were with each other. But once, you feel that there is no spark, you will have no more excitement which shows you that you are falling out of love.

5.   Your priority changes: As the relationship gets older, especially after marriage or after having a baby, you don’t get time to spend with each other. But when you get time, instead of being with each other, you just scroll your mobile, start to watch TV,spend time with your friends or colleagues. You start to give priorities to other things than to give priority to your relationship.

6.   You no longer use those special words: Saying “I love you”, calling each other with cute nicknames is a part of a happy relationship. But, when you start to fall out of love, you eventually stop saying, “love you” when you hung up your phone, start to call each other formally. This is one of the sign you need to refresh your relationship.

                It is a phase of life where you will face these changes which you never expected to happen. But it might happen to most of us, it is because we are human being.  This will happen because we will be facing more responsibilities which make us to feel stressed and exhausted. But these things don’t mean you don’t care for each other or you stopped loving each other. So, when you feel like you are falling out of love, you no need to feel guilty. There are many ways to bring back the spark of magic in your relationship. I will mention some of the ways in the forthcoming blog.

What happens when we force someone into a relationship?

 

We should fall in love with the person spontaneously without any external pressure. And at the same time that person should also feel the same. Just because we love someone doesn’t mean that person should also feel the same. But there are some people who force the other person to fall in love. They threaten that person, stalk them continuously, lie to them or try to impress them by hiding their own personality. These things will lead to a relationship which is totally toxic. That relationship won’t last forever. When you force someone to love you the following things might happen.

1.   There will not be a true commitment in the relationship: Commitment is important in every relationship. When a person is forced into a relationship they will not commit themselves totally into that relationship. They just stay in the relationship for name sake.  This leads to anger and dishonesty towards their partner. They start to lie and cheat, which totally destroys the relationship.

2.      There won’t be peace in the relationship: When we lie to the person to fall in love with us, we will always have a thought that they might leave the relationship, they might fall out of love when  they come to know the truth. There will always be tension in that bond. This will lead to loss of peace in our mind. We start a relationship to feel happy and peace. But when it results in no peace it destructs our body and mind which destroys the relationship.

3.      The relationship won’t last long: We always desire to travel with the person we love throughout our life. But it won’t happen when we force that person into a relationship. As the days go they might start to realize that there is no love in them and will try to move away from you. The relationship will be broken. It won’t last forever.

4.  Violence and emotional blackmail: The fear that the person we love might move out of the relationship will make us think of the other ways for them to stay in the relationship like beating the person, blackmailing them emotionally. Violence and blackmail in a relationship is very dangerous. When violence arrives the love disappears in that relationship.

5.  We might become a slave to that person: When we make someone to fall in love with us without their complete will, we have to be the one who needs to adjust in all situations. For a relationship to be successful both the person has to put their effort. But in order to make them to stay with us, we spend our whole effort. We literally become a slave to that person. This type of relationship has no meaning to be continued.

When we fall in love with any person we should express our love in a genuine way. We can give a try for once or twice. But when we come to know that they are not at all interested in us, it is best to move on. Threatening them or trying to be so sweet which is not your personality will only lead to a temporary toxic relationship. You will either become a person they hate or someone they take more advantage of. 

 

 

 

7 Things to be normalized for women

 

From ancient times women have been restricted from doing a lot of things, where a man can do that peacefully. When a particular thing  is normal for a man to do, why can’t a woman do it? When thinking of things a woman is restricted to do, the list goes on. In this article a few things are listed which should be normalised for woman to do.

1.      To be single: It is the choice of an individual to be single or to be in a relationship. When a man prefers to be single, no one bothers about it. But when a women prefers to be single, she is been put into a judgemental prison in which she is not allowed to live peacefully. If a person is happy being single, let them be single. It is not the choice of the society to set a relationship to them.

2.      To take a break: When a man leaves his wife and kids and goes for a picnic to take a break, he is not questioned or blamed. But if a woman decides to leave her family  for a break, everyone says “How can she leave her husband and kid alone to roam around?” “She is not a good wife or a mother”. “She is selfish”. Everyone deserves a break from their exhausting life irrespective of their gender.

 

3.  To have a short hair: It is really sad to think that some women are not even allowed to have a hairstyle they like. They were allowed to have a hairstyle only by the choice of their Husband or parents. And some people judge the character of a woman by the length of her hair. What does the length of her hair has to do with her character? A woman with a short hair is often made to feel ashamed. Let us normalize for women to enjoy the freedom of having a short hair.

4.      To not have a baby: From ancient times women had been considered as a tool to give birth. She had been treated as a machine to reproduce. Her purpose of life is considered to give birth and raise a child.  Even now it is the same case. When she can’t give birth to a child, she is called by lot of names. Even if the fault is on her husband, she is only blamed for that. when she decides not to have a baby, she is called selfish. It is her body which has to go through all the process of birth. Hence, she has to decide about that. Forcing her to get conceived is not healthy for the mother and also the baby.

 

5.      To drive peacefully: It had became normal for a woman to drive a car and a bike nowadays. But still some people make fun of a woman when she drives. They think that driving is made only for man and a woman can’t drive properly. Please remember that there are women who can drive lorry and a plane. We should not underestimate a women’s driving skills. Treat her as normal as you treat man.

6.      To talk about their body: It is still a topic of taboo to talk about periods, sex, birth. When a girl talk about these topics she is considered as characterless. Because of that, most women avoid asking questions and their doubts related to this. So, they become unaware of many serious things. Still some women follow unhygienic methods during their menstruation and have unprotected sex which leads to unwanted pregnancy and spread of diseases. Hence, it should be normalised for women to talk openly about their body.

 

7.  To choose the career they like: Most women have been restricted in choosing her career in industries like media, modelling and work which involves travelling. They were said that it will bring dishonour to the family. Every work needs passion and determination for it to be successful. When a person has this passion and determination they should be allowed to take that work irrespective of their gender.

 

 

 

 

6 things we should not feel guilty about

 

Guilt is the responsibility or regret you feel after doing something wrong. But there are some things people around you will make you to feel guilty when you absolutely didn’t do anything wrong. Here are some things which you no need to be guilty about.

1.   Saying ‘no’: Usually when we say ‘no’ to people it is considered as the rude behaviour. But it is not our duty to always please someone. The only person we have to please is ourselves. So, when you don’t like to do what they ask, it is totally okay to say ‘no’. Stop being rude to yourself. When you can’t abruptly say ‘no’ use these words like “Sadly, I’m having another commitment”. “Sorry, my hands are full right now”.

 

2.   Distancing yourself from a toxic person:  When someone’s behaviour always gives you “negative vibes” or brings negativity around you, it is okay to move yourself away from that person. There are some people who always pokes nose in all your activities, pass unwanted or negative comments, gossiping or spreading rumours about others and you. This kind of person always tries to bring you down. Being with them gains you nothing but makes you to lose your inner peace and confidence. So, without any guilt just distance yourself and avoid that person in your life totally.

 

3.      Not being social media friendly: Social media is tool which is created to communicate and to keep in touch with the people you know. But now there are lot of features added, which makes it a trend for people to post pictures, videos and everyday of their life. If you are a private person and don’t like to post everything in your life, it is totally ok. It doesn’t make you any lesser than the person who shares everything. Remember that everything posted on social media is not real and sometimes it is totally the opposite of what’s happening in reality. You can enjoy other things in your life which makes you truly happy.

 

4.   Taking a break: Sometimes all you need is to take a break from the regular  activities in your life. Taking a few days break will give you a calm mind and makes you feel refreshed. But sometimes you might feel that taking a break from work and family will waste your time, money and make you a selfish person. But investing your time and money on your peace and happiness will not go waste. And only if you feel happy and calm you can make people around you happy. So it does not make you a selfish person. So stop feeling guilty and pack your bag and go to your favourite destination.

 

5.   Having a lazy day: It is okay have a lazy day once in a while. When you don’t like to get out of bed and want to sleep for more hours, you can do it. You don’t need to work always. Giving rest to your body and mind is not something you should feel guilty about. Even experts say that having one lazy day a week will help your mind and body to recover.

 

6.   Doing what you like: People always criticize and make you feel guilty in everything you do. You always have the right to do things which you like. You don’t always need the approval of others to do things you like. So go and have a hairstyle you always desired to have, get a tattoo you always wanted, go to places you wanted to visit, wear the dress you like, have a drink and chat with your friends.

 

                        Guilt is an emotion which you should feel when you did something wrong, don’t waste your emotions in doing something which makes you feel good.

7 Things to be normalized for men

 

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                     We think men in this society has more freedom, they are free to do anything. But, there are some unwritten social rules which are needed to be followed by men, if they failed to follow it, they are made to feel ashamed or humiliated.

                      If a particular behavior is considered normal for a woman, then it should be normalized for men also. In this blog there are some things which needs to be considered normal among men.

1.      To cry : Boys at their young age have always heard these lines “Why are you crying like a girl? Boys don’t cry”. Do tears come only for girls? Are men not humans? Do women only have the rights to express their emotions?

               As a society we don’t encourage men to show their emotions. They always hide their emotions or withdraw. Suppressing the emotions can cause stress and anxiety which may even lead to self destruction and they may become suicidal. We should  encourage them to express their emotions rather than shutting it down.

 

2.   No need to be a rugged person: When it is not socially acceptable for men to cry, it is totally acceptable for men to be a rude person. As said above when they suppress their sadness, they tend to channel it in the other way by showing anger and behaving in a rude and aggressive manner. They have been told that being rude and aggressive is the way to show their masculinity and crying is not supposed to be a thing for men. Both are wrong. It has to be socially accepted that men are not supposed to be a rugged person in order to prove their masculinity.

 

3.      To have a makeover: Men are generally ashamed when they try to wear makeup. Generally it is said that makeup adds confidence in a woman. When women gains confidence having a makeover why men lose their confidence when they have a makeover? It is not a big deal when male celebrities wear makeup to look good. We should also let normal men to have a makeover if they like it. Grooming and having a makeover is a choice of an individual, not a gender related thing. It should not be an embarrassing thing for anyone.

4.      Having hobbies they like: Hobbies are something we do for pleasure and relaxation. So, it should be any activity a person likes the most. When a man likes dancing, cooking, knitting there is nothing wrong in that. Can’t a men’s hand cook and stitch? Can’t a men’s legs and hips dance? We can’t force someone to have a hobby they don’t like. When a particular activity gives them relaxation we should let them do it peacefully.

 

5.    To like and wear any colour: There was a guy who bought a laptop in pink colour. But he was embarrassed to bring that laptop to his office because of its colour. So he had put some sticker on that laptop so that it looks less pink. In this scenario, what made him to feel embarrassed about pink colour even when he likes it?

                             Generalising colours based upon gender is something we should stop. In some hospitals, they use tags and towels in pink for girls and blue for boys. But the purpose of it is to distinguish between a boy and a girl baby in order to avoid confusion. But these colours had become the identity of he gender in later days. Colours are from nature and nature is for everyone. Anyone can like any colour irrespective of their gender.

 

6.      To have a long hair: One of my cousins who had a long hair was made to feel embarrassed in one of the family function which made to avoid our relatives completely.

                             What is wrong with the men having ling hair? Men are often humiliated if he is bald or if has a long hair. Should he always have to have a hair in between these two? Everyone should feel free to have the hairstyle they like.

 

7.      To not have a beard or mustache: Another thing men are made to feel ashamed is when he don’t have a beard or a mustache. When he can’t grow a beard or mustache he is made fun of it by calling him a girl. Does beard and mustache only define a man? Everyone have different level of hormones in our body. So for some people it will grow in the young age itself and for some people it might take time.And if a men likes to have a clean shaved face he can have it. It should not be a thing for men to be worried. 

                          At some point in life even we would have faced gender stereotyping.  It might be a funny thing for some people to humiliate an individual by gender stereotyping. But it is really a toxic thing which has to be stopped. Voice this out and stop it. Let everyone live the life they want.