What happens when we force someone into a relationship?

 

We should fall in love with the person spontaneously without any external pressure. And at the same time that person should also feel the same. Just because we love someone doesn’t mean that person should also feel the same. But there are some people who force the other person to fall in love. They threaten that person, stalk them continuously, lie to them or try to impress them by hiding their own personality. These things will lead to a relationship which is totally toxic. That relationship won’t last forever. When you force someone to love you the following things might happen.

1.   There will not be a true commitment in the relationship: Commitment is important in every relationship. When a person is forced into a relationship they will not commit themselves totally into that relationship. They just stay in the relationship for name sake.  This leads to anger and dishonesty towards their partner. They start to lie and cheat, which totally destroys the relationship.

2.      There won’t be peace in the relationship: When we lie to the person to fall in love with us, we will always have a thought that they might leave the relationship, they might fall out of love when  they come to know the truth. There will always be tension in that bond. This will lead to loss of peace in our mind. We start a relationship to feel happy and peace. But when it results in no peace it destructs our body and mind which destroys the relationship.

3.      The relationship won’t last long: We always desire to travel with the person we love throughout our life. But it won’t happen when we force that person into a relationship. As the days go they might start to realize that there is no love in them and will try to move away from you. The relationship will be broken. It won’t last forever.

4.  Violence and emotional blackmail: The fear that the person we love might move out of the relationship will make us think of the other ways for them to stay in the relationship like beating the person, blackmailing them emotionally. Violence and blackmail in a relationship is very dangerous. When violence arrives the love disappears in that relationship.

5.  We might become a slave to that person: When we make someone to fall in love with us without their complete will, we have to be the one who needs to adjust in all situations. For a relationship to be successful both the person has to put their effort. But in order to make them to stay with us, we spend our whole effort. We literally become a slave to that person. This type of relationship has no meaning to be continued.

When we fall in love with any person we should express our love in a genuine way. We can give a try for once or twice. But when we come to know that they are not at all interested in us, it is best to move on. Threatening them or trying to be so sweet which is not your personality will only lead to a temporary toxic relationship. You will either become a person they hate or someone they take more advantage of. 

 

 

 

7 Things to be normalized for women

 

From ancient times women have been restricted from doing a lot of things, where a man can do that peacefully. When a particular thing  is normal for a man to do, why can’t a woman do it? When thinking of things a woman is restricted to do, the list goes on. In this article a few things are listed which should be normalised for woman to do.

1.      To be single: It is the choice of an individual to be single or to be in a relationship. When a man prefers to be single, no one bothers about it. But when a women prefers to be single, she is been put into a judgemental prison in which she is not allowed to live peacefully. If a person is happy being single, let them be single. It is not the choice of the society to set a relationship to them.

2.      To take a break: When a man leaves his wife and kids and goes for a picnic to take a break, he is not questioned or blamed. But if a woman decides to leave her family  for a break, everyone says “How can she leave her husband and kid alone to roam around?” “She is not a good wife or a mother”. “She is selfish”. Everyone deserves a break from their exhausting life irrespective of their gender.

 

3.  To have a short hair: It is really sad to think that some women are not even allowed to have a hairstyle they like. They were allowed to have a hairstyle only by the choice of their Husband or parents. And some people judge the character of a woman by the length of her hair. What does the length of her hair has to do with her character? A woman with a short hair is often made to feel ashamed. Let us normalize for women to enjoy the freedom of having a short hair.

4.      To not have a baby: From ancient times women had been considered as a tool to give birth. She had been treated as a machine to reproduce. Her purpose of life is considered to give birth and raise a child.  Even now it is the same case. When she can’t give birth to a child, she is called by lot of names. Even if the fault is on her husband, she is only blamed for that. when she decides not to have a baby, she is called selfish. It is her body which has to go through all the process of birth. Hence, she has to decide about that. Forcing her to get conceived is not healthy for the mother and also the baby.

 

5.      To drive peacefully: It had became normal for a woman to drive a car and a bike nowadays. But still some people make fun of a woman when she drives. They think that driving is made only for man and a woman can’t drive properly. Please remember that there are women who can drive lorry and a plane. We should not underestimate a women’s driving skills. Treat her as normal as you treat man.

6.      To talk about their body: It is still a topic of taboo to talk about periods, sex, birth. When a girl talk about these topics she is considered as characterless. Because of that, most women avoid asking questions and their doubts related to this. So, they become unaware of many serious things. Still some women follow unhygienic methods during their menstruation and have unprotected sex which leads to unwanted pregnancy and spread of diseases. Hence, it should be normalised for women to talk openly about their body.

 

7.  To choose the career they like: Most women have been restricted in choosing her career in industries like media, modelling and work which involves travelling. They were said that it will bring dishonour to the family. Every work needs passion and determination for it to be successful. When a person has this passion and determination they should be allowed to take that work irrespective of their gender.

 

 

 

 

6 things we should not feel guilty about

 

Guilt is the responsibility or regret you feel after doing something wrong. But there are some things people around you will make you to feel guilty when you absolutely didn’t do anything wrong. Here are some things which you no need to be guilty about.

1.   Saying ‘no’: Usually when we say ‘no’ to people it is considered as the rude behaviour. But it is not our duty to always please someone. The only person we have to please is ourselves. So, when you don’t like to do what they ask, it is totally okay to say ‘no’. Stop being rude to yourself. When you can’t abruptly say ‘no’ use these words like “Sadly, I’m having another commitment”. “Sorry, my hands are full right now”.

 

2.   Distancing yourself from a toxic person:  When someone’s behaviour always gives you “negative vibes” or brings negativity around you, it is okay to move yourself away from that person. There are some people who always pokes nose in all your activities, pass unwanted or negative comments, gossiping or spreading rumours about others and you. This kind of person always tries to bring you down. Being with them gains you nothing but makes you to lose your inner peace and confidence. So, without any guilt just distance yourself and avoid that person in your life totally.

 

3.      Not being social media friendly: Social media is tool which is created to communicate and to keep in touch with the people you know. But now there are lot of features added, which makes it a trend for people to post pictures, videos and everyday of their life. If you are a private person and don’t like to post everything in your life, it is totally ok. It doesn’t make you any lesser than the person who shares everything. Remember that everything posted on social media is not real and sometimes it is totally the opposite of what’s happening in reality. You can enjoy other things in your life which makes you truly happy.

 

4.   Taking a break: Sometimes all you need is to take a break from the regular  activities in your life. Taking a few days break will give you a calm mind and makes you feel refreshed. But sometimes you might feel that taking a break from work and family will waste your time, money and make you a selfish person. But investing your time and money on your peace and happiness will not go waste. And only if you feel happy and calm you can make people around you happy. So it does not make you a selfish person. So stop feeling guilty and pack your bag and go to your favourite destination.

 

5.   Having a lazy day: It is okay have a lazy day once in a while. When you don’t like to get out of bed and want to sleep for more hours, you can do it. You don’t need to work always. Giving rest to your body and mind is not something you should feel guilty about. Even experts say that having one lazy day a week will help your mind and body to recover.

 

6.   Doing what you like: People always criticize and make you feel guilty in everything you do. You always have the right to do things which you like. You don’t always need the approval of others to do things you like. So go and have a hairstyle you always desired to have, get a tattoo you always wanted, go to places you wanted to visit, wear the dress you like, have a drink and chat with your friends.

 

                        Guilt is an emotion which you should feel when you did something wrong, don’t waste your emotions in doing something which makes you feel good.